Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Perfect Foods, Inc.

This place is great. Deep in the onion fields of Pine Island, New York there lies an ordinary barn. Only this is no ordinary barn! It contains the following:

Trays of plant matter resembling photovoltaic arrays:



Crazy hanging shit:



Grass that is fresher:



Hard workers and curious spectators:



This is worker No. 44. He works hard and has met his harvest quota for this week, which means he will not be killed:



By this:



Whole civilizations of miniature posthuman beings live in sprout forests such as this one:



The geometric patters exhibited here line up to several constellations, including Ursa Minor and Coma Berenices:



The plant matter is kept at a strict 27° F until the hatcheningification. Bovine surrogate is injected 7 days into the incubation period, and again at 14 days. While the plants are waiting, they are kept in bunkers like this:



There are plenty of fans to maintain proper circulation!



Employee No. 20 working the late shift. She has been rewarded for her fruitful harvest with a G-Unit chain:



If you have a chance, visit this barn in Pine Island, New York. Only they probably won't let you. Think they're fucking around? Look at that pendant!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The bling is key to the story of those hardworking immigrants.

Anonymous said...

I love how green the grass looks. It makes me want to eat it.

Alex said...

Ha yup, and you are supposed to. It's wheat grass. I think it's gross to the taste however.

Anonymous said...

wow, it's like looking into the future of the human race or something. you know, once the earth is blackened and we can't live on the surface anymore.